The Apprentice comes up 'Norf'

Is it me, or is it very worrying that these candidates are in charge of actual sales departments somewhere?

In the latest installment of The Apprentice (BBC1, Wednesdays, 9pm), the candidates were under the illusion that they were off to sunnier climes for this week's task.

Ha ha numpties.

In a rainy service station car park, they were informed by Sir Al that they were indeed 'gaain' ap Norf' to Manchester and Liverpool to sell two of a possible 12 items to big business buyers.

This week's 'PMs' (God, don't you just hate people who abbreviate everything) were Mona and greasy Lorraine -you know, the one that's a cross between Marlon Brando's Godfather with the stuffed cheeks and Woody Allen.

At Manchester's Hilton Hotel the teams picked from a dazzling array of inventions from a 'Mojo Ball' and a 'Drill Mate' to the ridiculous stuff they actually chose to sell which included a sleeping bag with arms and legs and a two-handled dog lead. Pity there wasn't an invention to make Lorraine's hair actually appear clean.
But I guess science hasn't progressed that far yet.

Lorraine spilt up her team and she and pizza-faced Yasmina sold shed-loads. However, Geordy bighead Phillip, braces-wearing Ben and that blond bint with the wonky gob, didn't sell a bean. Which didn't go down too well...

In the boardroom, it was down to Lorraine to bring back two of her team for a possible firing so she chose Philip and the blond. Phillip, at long last, shot himself in the foot - unfortunately not literally - by slagging off Lorraine so much it was embarrassing. He even snapped at Sir Al.

And so it came to pass that it was the North-Eastern nincompoop, in the taxi, with the blue Samsonite.

And good riddance too.

Only one question remains...Deborah - why the long face?