Eeeee by eck.
Just when you thought it was safe to sail into the sunset, up pops Cassanova Ken Barlow to put a spanner in't works.
Coronation Street (ITV, Monday, 7.30 & 8.30) was full of 'unobvious' goodbyes for sad old Ken - 'Sail This Ship Alone' on the jukebox; "Make sure you look after your Daddy" speeches - you know, understated.
As he drank in the majesty of the cobbles and pigeons, he looked slightly sad to be leaving all this glitz and glamour for a 70 something who now- thanks to a needle, back stitch and a good tailwind- looks more like a 30 something.
Yes Ken has finally had enough of Dierdre's turkey-necked wheezing and Blanche's boggle-eyed bitchiness to run off with an actress who resides on a barge on Wetherfied canal. No, honestly.
Martha aka Stephanie Beecham, was everything that Dierdre aint: womanly, educated and able to speak without half her cartilage bulging from her throat.
Ken fell in love with old, sorry, young Martha on his secret visits to the barge whilst 'taking the dog for a walk'. Now, finally, he had plucked up the courage to write a note to Diedre and leave.
With one small suitcase, he trundled to the canal where she had her infamous homemade soup and a glass of Chablis waiting.
But in a dramatic twist as Ken untied the boat to sail off into the future, he actually jumped off and left her to sail on her own. And just when she thought she was getting a bit of 'how's your father', or, in this case, 'how's your grandfather'.
With a combined age of around 315, this couple, sadly, was not to be.
Now Ken has literally missed the boat to happiness for a life of dowdy wallpaper and halves of bitter down the Rovers.
And there was I thinking he had an education.
Silly old coot.
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